Wowee!! God has even done so much in th past 3 days since i wrote the blog underneath.. I love Jesus so much!! I love him so much i dont know what to do.. im am just overwhelmed by his love, and there is so much more of his love - for all of us! we will never get to the bottom of it. Ever. He is limitless. He is love! wow. Please pray for protection for me - undergoing lots of attack at the moment. Also please pray for wisdom in decision makng that ihave to do in the next few weeks! if anyone gets any words for me please feel free to email or leave comment. Thank you s omuch foryour continued love and prayers, i appreciate it so much. I love u all. Do let me k now what is happening in your lives to - i will pray! take care y'all. lots of love xxx

Wrote on July 1st

We have a teapot! Its so exciting, we can now make coffee in ease - without having to use a saucepan!! Praise Jesus. We also had running water this week for 2 days in a row, and it was quite strong! We also had curry tonight which was so much fun - we all helped cook something separately in our houses, and as students, we had a massive meal together in the prayer hut. It was very special. A group from each nation did a song, it was so funny! Its amazing how God is raising up an army from all over the world to unify for his kingdom. There is people from all over - from New Zealand to Ukraine, to Iceland, Brazil.. the list goes on. I had a really nice weekend.Yesterday, i helped take a large group of children from another centre to the ocean.. it was SO much fun! They had clearly not been to the ocean in a while, as they were so excited to go in the water - and some a little apprensive; at one point i had like 3 little starkers chidlren clambering all over me! I took a little toddler and a baby to the beach which was sspecial. The little boy, Benny, is 2 and is a proper tank! He is a big boy bless him, which is great! Fat is good! But its also really cool, becuase apparantely when he arrived at the centre he was so underweight, so he is really thriving, and one of many stories of God's amazing grace. As I get to know the children more, i am discovering their heart-breaking stories behind their short little lives. One of the older boys from the village took me to his house this week, and it totally broke me. Its true, what Heidi says, you just don't understand until you go and see their homes, and their lives and see how they really live. You dont know them; you dont know. When i visited his tiny little room with a broken roof that when it rains, he and all of his stuff get completely drenched, it totally opened my eyes to his life here. He has no family, he has no job - he is still at school. He is just a child, living alone in such poverty. And i know he is one of thousands like that, and he is actually very blessed to have a home and the security of Iris, but it really hits you when its someone you know. We started to pray for him, and he just broke down and cried and cried on my lap for an hour or so.. words just cannot describe the experiences i am going through.
One thing that i am struggling with actually is knowing how to be wise in my giving. Children are constantly asking for things, and begging for clothes, money, anything they see. It is heart-breaking when the village children all stand behind the metal bars of the dining room and look up at you with their beautiful big eyes begging for the left overs of your plate piled high with rice. Its heart-breaking when you take a child swimming, and all they have to put back on is a thread-bare t shirt, that has more holes in it than material. Its heart-breaking to see the village children constantly fighting, pinching, hitting, throwing stones, bullying the younger children; when you know that there is a bigger picture behind their violence; and although necessary, its hard to be very stern with them. So when do you know how and whom to help? When is it right to say yes? When is it wise to say no? I have really been struggling with these issues, as my heart just wants to help them all.. but of course i know its just not possible. I am learning to focus on the one that i can help. Stop for the one. Love the one. I bought one of the village children, Manuel, a football - he was SO happy! His face just lit up when he realised it was a gift just for him. I saw him later and he had picked me some flowers to say thank you! It was so special.
What does love look like? How can we help the unlovely? How can we feed the hungry? What is mission? words and phrases that are constantly used, but God has set me really thinking about these things. I cant stop reading Isaiah 58 - he has called me 'to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free, and break every yoke. Is it not to share your food with the hungry and provide the poor wonderer with shelter - when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?' Love is action! Its sitting with them in the dirt; its buying them a football, its sharing your food, its spending time with a widow, its hugging an orphan (as one of the children says, 'hug me harder Manna Hedar!!), its buying someone some more bamboo for their roof. In my last blog, i think i wrote about how God was giving me more compassion and love, and i feel that this week God is showing me how i can actually use what he has given me for his glory.